This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
