She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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