I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
