Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
