the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
