I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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