I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
