He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
