your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
