Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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