and you said cock pushups were impossible
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
