Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
