So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
