How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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