I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
