sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
