I will die if light touches me.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
high people should be assigned attendants
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
