Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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