he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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