i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
