i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
