What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
