Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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