then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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