Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
