half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's like iHOP with fire
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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