who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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