I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
