I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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