There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
