i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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