She just used a chaser for red wine.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
