i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
did you just send me my own nude
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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