Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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