My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
