I'm really into asian looking animals
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
