I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he thought i was a dude.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
