Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
