I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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