It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
