party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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