We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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