pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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