I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
