My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to cum in my sink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize