you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
