Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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