Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
