I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
40s are totally the cure
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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