Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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