the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
