Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
