It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
id be glad to
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
