Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
