Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
