Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
