Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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