Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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