like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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