When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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