you traded sex for a burrito?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are my feet made of real feet?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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