I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
